1. "When you lie down, do they go to the side?"
Well considering they are real and we live in a world that abides by the laws of gravity, I would have to say yes. However, that's only the business of someone who finds themselves lucky enough to be next to me in bed … where we can explore the wonders of gravity together!
2. "Do they run in your family?"
Yes, they do. In fact, my father is human, but my mother is simply a pair of floating disembodied breasts. And so was her mother and grandmother before her! That is the true story of how I came to exist in this world. It's always more fun to tell strange tales than actually have to talk about my grandma's boobs.
3. "Why don't you have a big butt too?"
Well, you see my family heritage is primarily Russian and Eastern European where, genetically, women tend to… wait. I just remembered I don't have to answer this question. This is my body. Since I'm unable to converse with my own cells, let's just accept it the way it is.
4. "Is it hard to play golf?"
Yes, of course it's hard to play golf, because golf is an extremely difficult sport that takes a great deal of training, often from a young age. I would imagine it's also hard for you to play golf while you're staring at my boobs.
5. "What about mini golf?"
OK, yes, it's pretty much impossible to play mini golf because of my boobs. I have to get a club that's way too long for me, swing wildly and hope I eventually make contact with the ball. I end up hitting the ball well into the next game, if not completely off the course. Hm, that actually sounds impressive. Perhaps I should try my hand at real gold after all!
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